Most Mothers Feel Shamed for Their Parenting Skills

If you ever feel like someone is judging your parenting skills, you're probably right.

A new report from the C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health finds that 6 in 10 mothers with children ages 0 to 5 believe their parenting methods are under scrutiny. They feel they are judged for everything from discipline methods to breast-feeding. The poll, published Monday, features a national sample of 475 mothers.

What's more: Most moms think their harshest critics are their own family members. In fact, 37 percent of poll participants said their mother or father second-guessed them. Just behind that, 36 percent felt shame from their spouse or child's other parent, and 31 percent felt judgment from their in-laws.

And that's not productive, researchers say.

"Family members should respect that mothers of young children may have more updated information about child health and safety," poll co-director Sarah Clark said in a statement, "and 'what we used to do' may no longer be the best advice."

After feeling critiqued, some of the mothers who were polled flocked to health care providers for advice.

"Child health providers can help by encouraging mothers to ask questions about any parenting uncertainties, and offer reassurance and practical advice that helps boost mothers' confidence and reduce anxiety around choices," Clark added.

As for dealing with in-laws, that could be a sensitive situation – but don't be afraid to trust your intuition. "Instead of automatically embracing an in-law's direction, ask yourself if you believe in the choices you've made," Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, recently wrote in a U.S. News "For Parents" blog post. If so, hear an in-law out, but stand by your decisions. If you find yourself in a lengthy debate, you might say, 'Let's agree to disagree on what's best.'"